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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Life isn't so bad after all.

I'm trying to decide which direction to take this blog next.  I have so much to say, and so much to show, and I'm not even on the present yet.  I'm wishing that I'd have started this blog much earlier, but for some reason, I just couldn't do it.  I was in a horrible state of some sort of depression mixed with what is referred to as "cog fog".  It was terrible.  I could barely understand what was being said to me.

Recently, what I would call a miracle happened.  A friend of mine whom I had met on a chat a couple of years ago, after my diagnosis started a MS support group on facebook.  Somehow that group lifted my depression, and gave me something to smile about.  It had been over a year since I had actually smiled.  It felt wonderful. 
 Earlier I was complaining about what friends I don't have, but in doing so forgot to appreciate the wonderful friends that I do have.  I also joined a new chat room full of wonderful people who have welcomed me with open arms.  They are all amazing.  

My lesson that I learned today: not to dwell on the negative, because in doing so, I miss the positive. 

I don't think I have any ms related photos to share, but I love blogs with photos, so here is one that I took a couple of years ago.   

Tis the season...friendships...bah!

This is an image that I drew as an online christmas card for my friends.  I've always loved being near my friends during the holidays.  Friendships are invaluable, especially for people who aren't feeling well for the holidays. Sadly for me once again, a shopping date with a friend has been cancelled, and my tree will have to go without a star unless I can figure out a way to hang it myself.  

Ever since being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, I have learned many valuable lessons in life, including who my true friends are.  Sadly, most of my friends were far more shallow than I imagined, and it's as if my head had turned into a giant wart the moment I was diagnosed.  My once busy phone now goes weeks without ringing except for reminders from my Dr.'s offices.  My room, once full of people sits empty most of the time. There are days that it really gets me down, but I try not to let it.  I just have to realize that friends like those weren't worth having.  I still can't help but miss them from time to time, but it gets easier every year. 

On a happier note, this is a blurry picture of my tree that I took with my cellphone.  As you can see, I'm very short, and this is a 7ft tree, so most of the ornaments are toward the bottom.  I cut the top off of the picture so that I wouldn't have to look at the missing star.  

Believe it or not, all of those ornaments are plastic.  This year, I don't have to worry about the cats breaking them.  

I plan on having a wonderful Christmas with the close friends that I have.  I'm not going to let a few friendships gone bad ruin my holidays.  I've heard that many people with ms lose friendships due to their illness.  It's very sad that this happens to people when they need their friends the most.